It’s fair to say when we attempt shopping near Christmas time, it doesn’t always tend to look like the adverts…Far from it really…so I’m going to share all those thoughts we REALLY have whilst shoppin for festive beauties 🙂
Also this post is totally a joke, so I hope you enjoy!
1. It’s kind of not-so cold, so maybe you shouldn’t wear a coat…but then you might get ‘THE LOOK’ because it’s December and DUH you should totally be wearing a coat, two scarves, fluff-lined boots AND of course three gloves. ON EACH HAND. Soo…yeah, maybe just take the coat..
2.*sigh* Stay calm, head down and brisk walking, look like you’re in a hurry, and then MAYBE you won’t get stopped by a middle-aged man dressed in a santa costume trying to flog you Christmas tat, if you get what I mean…
3. AGH- He’s spotted you. Oh- is that someone I know back there?– Better go check up with them, ~can’t stop right now Santa, sorry!~
(Later that day, yes-STILL shopping, with 6 bags at once in your hand)
4. If I walk 5 more metres I think my arms may just disintegrate, but you just keep on shoppin *hums Dory’s song from Finding Dory* Just keep shoppin, just keep shoppin…
5. Does this shopper in front of me HAVE to browse the assorted salads this slowly??
6. This is clearly a two-person aisle, yet you have your trolley in the way and I am TRYING to get to the BRUSSEL SPROUTS, I mean SERIOUSLY MADAM, I NEED THE SPROUTS OR CHRISTMAS DINNER WILL BE RUINED. *slowest shopper in the world notices you* –
7. Ok she definitely knew I was stood there..
“oh sorry love, was I in the way? Oh dear hehe!” and then moves the trolley out of the way of you, but blocking the next aisle you need to go down*
8. Oh wow that jacket is just GORGEOUS, looks classy! *checks price tag*
9. Sorry, where did you say Bargain corner was again?…
(even more shopping later,)…
10. Ugh, why do so many people need to queue all at once?
11. I’ll just go join the other queue, it’s going faster anyway…
12. Wait- but the other queue is SO much shorter now, and there’s two assistants that side…
13. Oh fudgeroonies, forgot your discount card- must be in here somewhere.. ~sorry, one moment!~ I KNOW it’s in here somewhere (please be in here please be in here)
It’s not in there.
14. THAT’S A WHOLE 3 STAMPS I MISSED OUT ON THERE.
(later, still…*rolls eyes*)
15. Is that my neighbour’s friend’s step-dad’s godmother’s COUSIN? Quick, hide under the chocolate reindeer.
16.Did she spot me? K she definitely did. Maybe I go say hi? No- risky, could bring up a discussion about the Christmas Special of Countdown, and I have Christmas present wrapping to tend to…
*knocks the chocolate reindeer and 100 plastic bells all jingle at once*
17. I think it’s time I left…
MERRY 7TH DAY OF BLOGMAS EVERYONE! 😂🎄